


Back to Black

by fairynarrytale



Series: Absolutely Clueless [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Narry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:42:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5742493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairynarrytale/pseuds/fairynarrytale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seated at a bar is where Niall finds himself.</p><p>Tumbler glass in hand, filled with a amber coloured liquor that burns the back of Niall's throat every time he takes a sip.</p><p>But the burn feels good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to Black

Seated at a bar is where Niall finds himself.

Tumbler glass in hand, filled with a amber coloured liquor that burns the back of Niall's throat every time he takes a sip.

But the burn feels good.

He feels it now, in his veins. Warmth beginning to override the erratic feelings that had been there before. Simmering just bellow the surface of his skin. So yeah warmth is good and Niall was glad he chose whiskey as his distraction drink for the night.

It's New Year's eve and while his friends are with their loved ones about to ring the new year in he's alone, at a bar. Which is ironic considering a bar is where he met him.

But he won't allow himself to think about that memory. Because for one night Niall just wants to forget everything and anything associated with him.

Niall raises the glass to his lips again, taking another sip at the thought of him. He was here to forget him, not here to let thoughts of him ruin his plans of getting shit-faced.

But that was the thing Niall thought bitterly, he didn't even have to be physically present to ruin anything for Niall. One thought of him, game over. His voice, game over. Pictures of him, game over. His smile and laugh, game over. His kisses, hugs, the love-making they shared, game over.

Thats how it had always been. Would always be, when it came to him.

Niall drank the rest of his drink, wincing at the burn before waving at the barman, giving him a grin as he pointed at his glass and waited for a refill. He was cute the barman, tall, broad shoulders with dark hair, smoke coloured eyes and a smile that had probably broken a few hearts.

If Niall wasn't so enamoured with someone else he probably would have been all over him the night he stumbled into this seedy little bar. He could also be the reason Niall kept coming back but Niall refused to dwell on that thought.

The truth was Niall liked it here, liked the cool vibe the bar had. Even if it was poorly lit with too many tables and chairs between the bar and the toilets, the ridiculous purple and black paint splattered walls.

The music they played was good too. Not so loud that you had to yell at the person sitting next to you for them to hear. But enough so one could hold a decent conversation while tapping your fingers to the beat as you kept up with the lyrics at the same time.

Niall's attention was bought back to the bar, to his phone that had started vibrating next to his arm. Niall eyed it cautiously, glad he had turned the sound off as he picked up the glass, downing the liquid in one gulp.

Then suddenly the cute barman appeared in front of him, refilling the glass while giving Niall a smile and a suggestive wink. Niall chuckled, giving him a wink in return. He couldn't help but watch the barman move away, Niall's eyes lingering on his ass in his tight jeans. Fuck.

Niall averts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and exhaling heavily before returning his attention to his phone that's vibrating again.

Niall picks it up and looks at the screen, scowling at the name of the caller before hitting the decline call button. It's even more ironic that Amy Winehouse's voice began to sing from the speakers behind the bar. A song he knew very well and at that moment the lyrics were like a swift kick in the balls for Niall.

Back to Black.

Niall thinks it may have been written by Amy about her relationship with her ex-husband, but right now, the song sums up Niall's relationship with Harry in a fucking heartbeat.

_Harry Styles._

Niall lifts his glass and takes a huge swallow of his drink, relishing the burn in his throat as he thinks about him.

Fucking Harry Styles.

" _Kept his dick wet with his same old safe bet_ " Amy croons and Niall chokes, because thats exactly where Harry is. With his safe-bet aka Kendall Jenner on a huge boat in St Barts. His mom and step-dad are there too and Kendall's mum and his famous fucking friends.

While Niall's in London, at a bar, on new year's eve by himself.

And well Harry better not be getting his dick wet by anyone else except him because his dick 100% belongs to Niall. Well that's what he thought and he's not so sure now because his boyfriend is not here with him.

Sure its just for publicity because apparently poor Kendall is "upset" about the gay rumours circulating in the media and "scared" they're going to affect her glittering modelling career. And of course his boyfriend who is possibly the nicest human being on the planet agrees to play along, because thats Harry in a nut shell.

And right now Niall hates it.

Hates that he's here and Harry's there and that there's 4,087 miles between them. Hates that Harry's mum and step-dad Robin are there too because he adores them both and can't understand why they have to be involved in the "publicity" stunt.

Hates how he's alone without his amazing boyfriend. Hates how cold and lonely his bed is without him. Hates that he misses him so much it makes Niall's heart ache all the time.

Yeah Niall hates alot of stuff right now.

" _Me and my head high and my tears dry get on without my guy_ " Amy sings and Niall nods his head in agreement because thats all Niall can do. Accept it. Even if he doesn't like it. Smile and nod and accept that them being in a relationship has to stay hidden from the public eye. For the sake of Harry's career.

" _You went back to what you knew_ " Amy continues and this line hurts because Harry and Kendall did date, a few years ago but they broke up and stayed friends. Yet Harry still insists on going above and beyond for her if she needs anything. Keeps in contact with her. Rings and offers an ear and a kind word if she's upset.

Niall shouldn't be jealous, hates that he's a tad insecure but fuck he can't help it. She's a model and Harry's a singer and they have history and they're both gorgeous and famous and the media adores them and Niall is just Niall. How the fuck can he compete with that?

The thought makes Niall empty his glass quickly as he nods at cute bar guy for another refill.

" _We only said goodbye with words_ " almost makes Niall want to cry because thats exactly how Harry said goodbye to Niall before he left. No hugs, no whisperings of love and affection in Niall's ear, no kisses. Not even a phone call. Just a note that was hastily scribbled on the pad beside the phone in Harry's kitchen.

And okay it possibly hurt more because Harry going anywhere for a long period of time involved Harry turning off his phone, Niall's phone and unplugging the phone in the kitchen for no distractions. Harry devoting 2 days, 48 hours to loving and pleasuring his boyfriend.

Covering every inch of Niall's body in bruises of love, marking him, reminding him of exactly how much Harry loved and adored Niall. How much he was going to miss his "Irish sunshine". Cooking all Niall's favourite dishes, talking and laughing, play fighting which always ended in Harry fucking Niall senseless.

But there was none of that this time because Kendall needed Harry immediately and of course what ever she needed was all that mattered. Niall had taken one look at Harry's note, sighing before ripping it from the pad and throwing it into the bin.

And if Niall spent the rest of that night tucked up in bed, with all the phones turned off and the TV on. Wrapped in one of Harry's old flannel shirts, drinking tequila straight from the bottle as silent tears fell down his cheeks? Then that was nobody's business but Nialls.

" _You go back to her and I go back to us_ " Niall shrugs and drinks because yeah he gets what Amy is saying. Her ex went back to his safe-bet just like Harry flew off to be by Kendall's side for this "publicity" stunt. And here they both are, remembering what was and stuck in this painful void of memories that mean everything but offers nothing in return.

" _I loved you much, it's not enough you love blow and I love puff_ "Amy croons and Niall can hear it, the emotion in her voice because Niall loves Harry with every fibre of his being. Probably just as much as Amy loves the guy she's singing about. And Niall and Harry might not be into drugs but it's still a metaphor that stings for Niall.

Because Harry is famous and Niall is just normal. Harry lives this exciting, vibrant life with his famous friends and travelling the world. Niall enjoys his quiet life, working at the music shop and teaching people how to play the guitar. Friday nights at the pub catching up with Liam and Louis over a pint. Too many differences and not enough reasons why they should work.

And the one reason that never fails to hurt Niall every time he thinks about it. Makes him feel like someone is holding his heart in their hands and they're squashing it painfully. Is the knowledge that he was only be Harry's boyfriend behind closed doors and nothing out in public. And it makes Niall feel like he's Harry's dirty little secret.

Yet another thought that makes Niall empty his glass quickly as the barman refills it just as fast.

 _"And life is like a pipe and I'm a tiny penny rollin_ '" Niall hears Amy sing and he feels the metaphor vibes from the lyrics again. Because half the time Niall feels like he's staring through a pipe at his relationship. That he can see the light at the end of the darkness and he just wants to get to the end because he knows what's there.

It's Niall and Harry. They're walking along a street in London. Their arms are entwined, they're laughing and they don't have a care in the world because the world knows that Niall belongs to Harry and Harry is Niall's everything. Life is good, life is amazing And its perfect until Niall opens his eyes and remembers its a scenario he's imagined, no where close to real at all.

Life isn't fair is it.

Niall looks up as he raises his glass to his lips, staring at himself in the mirror behind the bar as he takes a sip. Funny how his reflection looks the complete opposite of what he is feeling. His blonde hair quiffed back from his forehead messily, his blue eyes just as bright as ever. His cheeks are flushed pink from the liquor he's been consuming and the plain black shirt with the sleeves rolled back he's wearing is Harry's.

His eyes are drawn back to his phone vibrating again and he looks at the name, sighing as he put the glass down. He knew this would happen, wasn't surprised she was calling him. Doesn't have the heart to reject her call so he picks his phone up, pushes the accept button and holds the phone to his ear.

"Lo'?".

"Irish".

"Bean?"

"You're lucky you answered Irish, if you had the nerve to decline my call I would have hunted you down and made you suffer" Gemma's voice answers softly and it makes Niall chuckle because he knows Gemma is soft, all talk with no bite.

"I would never decline your calls also you are in Miami Bean, like you could hunt me down when there's 4,426 miles between us" Niall scoffs but there's affection in his voice as he uses the nickname he's given her because he really does adore Harry's sister.

"You mocking me Irish? I do know people I can make things happen" she responds, a hint of hurt in her voice but Niall simply chuckles as she huffs at him through the phone.

"How was the wedding?"

"Fabulous just like this amazing city I'm in"

"I'm glad you're having fun".

"So".

"So?" Niall responds as Gemma sighs and Niall knows what's coming, knows she's ringing because of him ignoring Harry's phone calls. Because of course Harry would call his sister and get her to call Niall because fucking Harry knows he'd never decline Gemma's calls.

"Where exactly are you Niall?"

"I'm at a bar in London it's new year's eve silly" he answers lightly, smiling at the cute barman, refilling his glass again before focusing his attention back on the phone at his ear.

"Well that would explain why you aren't taking Harry's calls, the music too loud then?", Gemma probes gently.

"No".

"Was he interrupting some amazing conversation you were having?".

"No".

"Wait you met someone famous? David Beckham? Rory Mcllroy?".

"Haha I wish but no" Niall scoffs.

"Too drunk and you were peeing and got your own pee all over your hands so you couldn't answer your phone?"

"Fucking hell Bean no of course not" Niall laughs into the phone as Gemma giggles in return. He knows exactly what she's doing and plays along of course. Keeping the conversation light, making him laugh before she hits him with her inquisition for her brother.

"Then explain to me why I got a phone call from my very upset baby brother because his boyfriend isn't taking his calls" Gemma asks softly and Niall sighs because there it is.

"Bean please".

"Niall he was so upset -" Gemma begins but Niall doesn't want to hear how upset Harry is because Niall's been upset and sad since the day Harry left.

"I can't talk to him right now ok" Niall whispers, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes tight because there are tears forming behind his eye lids and he doesn't want to cry here, at this bar, in a public place.

"Oh Irish" Niall can hear the concern in her voice as she sighs,

"This is about her isn't it?".

"It's not just that".

"Well I'm not surprised, absolute idiot my brother is. And you should know I called him every name under the sun for agreeing to this, for leaving his adorable Irish boyfriend in London and ringing the new year in with her" Gemma grumbles into Niall's ear, rambling away and Niall can't help but smile because he's so so fond of Gemma.

"He is but he's an adorable idiot and thats half the problem".

"He's also your adorable idiot Irish don't ever forget that. Harry has a good heart, always goes above and beyond for anyone he cares about, has always been that kind of guy" Gemma speaks slowly and Niall nods and listens and agrees. Knows that about Harry and Niall loves that little fact very much.

"Just don't give up so easily ok? He loves you Niall, you are his everything and I know this because I have proof in the form of iMessage conversations and if you need convincing then tell me and I'll send you screen-shots" Gemma continues as Niall stays silent and keeps listening.

"And we love you too ok? Me and mum and Robin just adore you so much because of how happy you make Harry and you're important to us and you are not allowed to go anywhere Irish do you hear me? I know people" Niall nods and he wants to cry because he loves Harry's family so much, felt like he was coming home the first time he met Anne, Robin and Gemma.

"Adore you Bean" Niall murmurs, speaking finally.

"Adore you too, now go enjoy your new years, hope you get excessively drunk and do pee on yourself Irish! And drink some water before you go to bed! And ring your boyfriend!" Gemma shouts into the phone before hanging up.

Niall sighs, rubbing his eyes wearily and yeah he's definitely feeling the whiskey now because he's warm and cosy, the alcohol humming through his system nicely. He's six glasses in, of whiskey straight, on the rocks and he doesn't plan on stopping any time soon so orders another one.

Then he remembers Gemma talking about him drinking some water so he asks for a glass of that too, with a smile.

" _black, black, black, black black, black, black_ " Amy is singing that one word over and over again, and it's like a thorn in Niall's side because black is the one metaphor that describes the range of emotions Niall felt when he saw the photos of Hendall kissing on that boat.

Niall hates that damn romantic ship name so much.

Hurt. Disappointed. Angry. Pissed off.

Kendall lying down on top of Harry. Kendall touching Harry. Harry texting while Kendall has her head resting on Harry's chest. Harry covering his and Kendall's heads with a towel. Kendall KISSING Harry.

Niall doesn't even want to think about those damn photos because it hurt Niall so much seeing his boyfriend kissing someone else and he's disappointed Harry didn't have the decency to warn him first. Niall had been at work, tutoring a small child with a ukulele, smiling as the child played "You are my sunshine". When his phone beeped and the image popped up on his screen from his twitter TL.

Niall thought he was dreaming at first until more images started appearing and Niall couldn't breath, his chest feeling tight and constricted. His stomach was churning and he was going to be sick, could feel the bile at the back of his throat as he rushed for the bathroom. Falling to his knees, lifting the seat as he hurled the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Niall's sat back on his knees as he stares down at his phone, flicking his finger across the screen as image after image appear. Niall's chest begins to heave as he shoves his fist into his mouth, trying to silence his sobs. He'd asked to leave work early, claiming he'd eaten something bad for lunch and it was that day Niall had found this bar.

The thing is it's more than that because they had discussed that subject as a couple.

How Harry would have to do publicity stunts from time to time because of his job. He'd be papped spending time with people, mainly hot models and famous girls because it was good for his career. They agreed that it was ok for Harry to do these things, but he wasn't allowed to kiss them.

"These lips are yours Blondie don't ever forget that" Harry had reminded him over and over again that night, as they lay in Harry's bed, pressed tightly against each other. Niall had simply nodded, too breathless because when Harry was in the mood to kiss his kisses still knocked the very air out of Niall's chest.

And Niall had been fine with it, had been fine about everything and secure until Harry had left him with that note the day after Christmas. And then all the photos were released, day after day after day of new images of Hendall and Niall couldn't deal with it.

Niall stops biting his thumb nail as he avoids the glass of water and picks up the tumbler glass instead. He's about to knock it back in one gulp when his phone starts vibrating on the bar. Niall frowns and takes a sip instead, putting the glass down before picking up his phone. He stares at the caller ID, had been expecting this call too as he answers.

"Tommo?"

"You better have a fucking good reason for why you are not present at my new years party Horan" a voice responds and Niall begins to regret answering the call to begin with.

"Where are you?".

"A bar in London?".

"There is a bar here, at my party serving free drinks Horan free drinks which you are suppose to be at so why are you there and not here?".

"Heartbreak" Niall mutters and that single word makes Louis pause as he sucks in a breath, in Niall's ear.

"Heartbreak? Niall what the fuck are you -" Louis begins but Niall cuts him off because he needs to let it out to someone how he's feeling and if he can't tell Louis then who else is going to listen?

"I'm thinking about ending it with Harry" Niall speaks slowly, each word like a dagger in Niall's heart because as much as he loves Harry and he loves that fucking dork so much, this in the closet shit relationship isn't working for Niall.

"Fuck Niall mate why you guys are like perfect together" Louis speaks again in a more gentle tone and it makes Niall grip the whiskey tumbler tight in his hand, exhaling softly.

"Because I can't do the whole closet relationship any more" Niall admits and it actually feels kinda good to say it, to tell someone exactly how he's feeling.

"You looked at those photos" Louis accuses as Niall leans his elbow on the bar, resting his forehead against the palm of his hand and sighs.

"Was hard not to Tommo".

"I told you not to look at those fucking photos!" Louis hisses.

"Well christ Louis was pretty hard not to when the fucking photos are everywhere!".

"But I specifically told you not to because I knew this would happen Niall, it's just publicity it's nothing you have to worry your cute little Irish mug about" Louis answers and it's definitely not what Niall wants to hear.

"They kissed".

"And?".

"We had a mutual agreement about no kissing!".

"She was leaning over him that wasn't a kiss stop being dramatic" Louis scoffs and Niall cannot believe that one of his very best mates is sticking up for his idiot boyfriend. Niall wishes he was at Louis's party just so he could slap him, or punch him or both to be honest.

"He's with her on a boat in some sunny Caribbean location".

"She's an ex"

"Exactly his ex."

"Yes an ex, because thats all she is Niall and nothing else stop doing this to yourself" Louis points out as Niall takes a drink from his glass of whiskey.

"Fuck you Tommo and why the fuck are you defending him".

"Because someone has to and I don't want you making such an important decision while under the liquor influence, "Louis says into Niall's ear.

"He loves you Niall, he's crazy in love with you and I know it's mutual because I feel sick every time Im stuck in a room with you both" Louis points out and ok Niall knows he's possibly right and decides to stay silent.

"And I know your relationship isn't ideal and I know how much you are hurting because you want more but is giving up the best thing thats ever happened to you the right thing to do?" Louis asks and Niall closes his eyes.

Because the thought of giving up Harry, not seeing him, not hearing his voice or his laugh makes Niall want to cry. He can already feel his eyes beginning to prickle just from the thought of not having Harry in his life.

"I need to do whats right for me" Niall whispers into the phone and he knows Louis can hear the slight waver in his voice because he's silent on the other end of the phone.

"Fine just don't do something you'll regret ok? And whatever happens I love you bro, always here for you" Louis says and Niall nods, unable to say anything as Louis ends the call.

Niall stares at his phone before placing it down on the bar. He finishes his whiskey and drinks the glass of water, declining the barman's offer of a refill. Niall pulls a wad of notes from his pocket, pays his tab and gives the barman with the heartbreaker smile a small salute and a wink, before tucking a Twenty pound note into the tips jar.

Slipping off his bar seat, Niall stands and feels the liquor rush through his body, straight to his head and he feels slightly inebriated. He steadies himself for a second before picking up his phone and his jacket, heading for the exit. Steps out into the crisp London air, puts his jacket on and hugging it close around his body, as he begins to walk along the footpath.

The streets are full of course, people are happy and excited, partying the night away because thats what one does on new years eve right? You leave all your bad choices from 2015 behind and start 2016 fresh with hope and a clean slate. Niall weaves his way through them, avoiding the puddles and drunken behaviour of a few youths loitering around outside a kebab shop.

Niall wishes he was more excited but he can't find it in his heart to be. Especially when the owner of his heart is miles away from him, on a boat in the ocean. And as Niall walks he ponders and allows his mind to remember when he first met Harry, at that bar and it seems like years ago when in fact its only been 10 months.

How Niall had thought it would only be a one night stand and the disappointment he felt while pulling on his T-shirt. Being called back to bed by a very naked and very horny Harry Styles. Not that much has changed, Harry is still a tease and he still liked to test Niall's willpower when it came to him having to leave to go to work. Not that Niall had any because he could never deny him anything, especially when Harry was naked and teasing, giving him that look that Niall just could not say no to.

Even the breakfast he'd been promised was amazing and it was so good that the food didn't even make it onto the plates. Niall stood in front of Harry's stove, with a fork in one hand and toast in the other. Eating the cheese omelette with bacon and mushrooms straight from the pans because he was that famished. They talked and laughed as Niall fed Harry with his own fork and in return Harry pressed heated kisses against Niall's lips, neck and anywhere he could reach.

How they'd cleaned up Harry's kitchen before Harry insisted on them going back to bed so Harry could fuck Niall senseless again and how Niall stayed another night and didn't leave until the following morning. How they simply couldn't get enough of each other from that day forth.

Niall tucks his hands into his jacket pocket and continues on his way. Funny how his plans of getting shit-faced for new years eve went out the window after two phone calls and now he's walking home alone, semi-drunk while cloaked in a melancholy vibe.

Maybe Louis is right, maybe he's just being overdramatic about everything and Niall thinks having two people remind him how much Harry loves him must mean something. And maybe tomorrow he'll text Gemma to send him those screen-shots because he's a tiny bit curious about their conversations.

Niall just misses Harry. He misses him so much and he feels his heart ache deeply because he'd give anything for Harry to be here with him. He just wants Harry and needs Harry, needs to feel him to touch him. Wants to kiss him, love him, have his familiar scent cloud his senses right now, but.

The thing is there is always a but when it comes to them. Niall hates that word but. Its like you get the promise of something when actually you end up with nothing.

Niall's phone starts up in his pocket and Niall knows who it is without even looking at it. He ignores it again and keeps walking except now he's decided on a different route, walking past bars and apartment complexes until he reaches Harry's building.

George the doorman greets Niall like he's an old friend, wishing him a happy new years eve before ushering him into the elevator and sending it upwards with a smile. Niall gets out on Harry's floor and walks to his door, slipping his key into the lock and heading inside, closing the door behind him.

Once Niall is in he starts stripping off his clothing, walking and dropping clothes until he's just standing there with his phone in his hand. He goes into Harry's bathroom and reaches behind the door for the T-shirt he knows is hanging there because thats where Harry always hangs the clothing he's slept in.

He tugs it on and is immediately wrapped in Harry's scent. Its so familiar to his senses that Niall can distinguish each layer. From the fresh orange smell in his body wash, the woody notes contained in his favourite aftershave to the fruity scent of the Fudge hair spray Lou uses on his hair for events.

Niall goes to the kitchen and takes a bottle of water from the refrigerator before returning to the bedroom. He climbs onto the bed, crawling up under the blankets before falling onto the pillows, pulling the duvet up around his shoulders.

Niall feels slightly better now that he's tucked up in Harry's bed. Harry's scent surrounds him and it's comforting yet not quite enough to soothe the ache in his heart. But Niall is glad he decided to come to Harry's apartment as he presses his face into Harry's pillow, inhaling deeply.

Niall is almost asleep when he hears his phone buzzing somewhere near the bottom of the bed. Niall moves his feet around, searching until he feels it, nudges it up the mattress until he can grab it. He pushes the accept button and tucks it between his ear and the pillow

"Niall?" he hears a familiar tone, such a beautiful sound and it makes Niall smile softly.

"Harry" Niall answers and he wishes he could see his face because once he's heard Harry's beautiful voice he needs to see his beautiful face too.

"Ive been so worried Ni are you ok? Gemma said she spoke to you, that you were at a bar in London by yourself and I thought you were going to Lou's new years party but he said you weren't there when I spoke to him too?" Harry rambles away in his ear and Niall thinks it's soothing, so incredibly soothing hearing his voice.

"I'm fine just wanted to be alone thats all".

"Its new years eve you shouldn't be alone".

"You were the only person I wanted to be with tonight and since I couldn't have that then my own company had to do" Niall admits softly and he hears Harry inhale sharply as he pauses on the other end of the line.

"Baby fuck I'm so sorry I'm not there" Harry murmurs into the phone and it's the words from Harry's apology that set Niall's tears free as they run down his cheeks.

"I miss you so damn much Haz" Niall says, his voice wavering as he brushes the moisture from his cheeks.

"I should never have agreed to do this Ni" Harry continues slowly, each word chipping away at the wall of doubt contained in Niall's mind.

"I should be there with you baby you are my everything Ni and it's not right that we're so far apart and fuck I just love you so much" Harry keeps talking and Niall's eyes are fluttering because he's tired and Harry's words are soothing the ache in his heart, Harry's smell is clouding his senses as he mumbles into the phone,

"Tired Haz so tired, tis ok, love you too".

Niall is out like a light bulb.

++

Harry shouldn't be in London. He should be on a boat in the Caribbean but after his conversation with his boyfriend last night he couldn't stay away any longer.

So he didn't.

And maybe Harry is crazy, for leaving that new years party before midnight, much to Kendall's disapproval. Boarding a private plane and flying for 12 hours straight just to come home and see him. But Harry is past the point of caring.

He just needs to see him.

Its a miracle really how Harry has even managed to land in Heathrow, get his passport checked and make it into the car that is currently taking him home without being spotted. But he did so Harry makes a mental note to give his PA a bonus because she definitely deserves it.

George the doorman lets him into his building via the side entrance. He greets Harry with a chirpy "good morning" and "Happy 2016" and Harry nods, giving him a smile in return as the elevator doors close.

Harry is impatient. It feels like the elevator is taking forever to reach his floor but he gets there and he's straight out of the elevator when the doors open, hurrying towards his apartment door.

Harry stops outside and presses the side of his head against the door, listening for any movement and it's silent. Because Harry was counting on Niall's slightly intoxicated state last night, hoping it would work in his favour, so he could surprise him by being the first person he sets eyes on in 2016.

A stupidly romantic gesture that his sister teased him about relentlessly via the speaker on his phone last night. Him spending a ridiculous amount of money on a private plane just to fly home and surprise his adorable boyfriend.

But Niall is worth it and Gemma agreed before calling him a sap and idiot as she hung up.

Harry nudges his key into the lock, twisting carefully in time with the door handle and pushes the door open slowly, stepping inside before closing it gently behind him. Turning around, Harry notices the trail of clothing Niall has left on the floor and it's obvious he's probably asleep in Harry's bed naked and well fuck.

Harry can feel himself hardening in his jeans and he can't wait to wake him up now.

Harry toes off his shoes and begins to strip off his own clothes as he follows the trail that Niall left, piece by piece until he reaches his bedroom door. Harry stops, reaching up to release his hair from the bun he'd tied it in, shaking his head, running his hand through it, pushing it back from his forehead before opening the door.

Harry cautiously makes his way over and stops at the foot of the bed, his heart pounding against his chest as he takes in the sight of his beautiful sleeping boyfriend.

Niall is on his stomach, a pillow tucked against his chest and he's hugging it tight. He's also wearing Harry's white, faded Rolling Stones tee, the one Harry had slept in the last time he was home and fuck its the cutest thing Harry has ever seen.

Harry makes another mental note to encourage Niall to wear his clothing as much as possible.

The thing is Harry had never realised how pale his gorgeous boyfriend was until he saw how well his skin tone blended in with Harry's black bed linen. Niall wasn't a natural blonde but the combination of his hair, his skin and Harry's T-shirt pressed up against the black pillow cases and sheets was a beautiful contrast. And with the morning sunlight streaming through the windows, casting a halo of light around Niall's head, Harry felt his breath catch in his throat.

He was also beginning to think he was head over heels in love with an Irish angel because thats what Niall currently looked like.

Harry sits down on the bed, reaching out a hand to stroke over Niall's ankle, chuckling as Niall kicks out in his sleep, mumbling as he rolls onto his back. Harry crawls forward, pressing himself against Niall's side

"Ni" Harry whispers into his ear before taking his ear lobe into his mouth and tugging lightly. Niall moans, mumbling something about being tired and leave me alone as he swats his hand near Harry's mouth.

Not that Harry is complaining, he'll just have to wake Niall up some other way and he's perfectly ok with that as moves his hand down to Niall's waist, tugging his T-Shirt up. Harry frowns when he sees that Niall is still wearing boxers but it doesn't matter as he presses his palm against the front of them.

Harry leans over and mouths at Niall's clothed length before gently pulling his boxer briefs down over his hips, releasing his cock as he tugged them down his thighs and off slowly. Spreading Niall's legs Harry moves forward, kneeling between his thighs before wrapping his hand around Niall's cock.

Harry's glad Niall isn't fully hard yet as he teasingly strokes his hand along Niall's smooth shaft, watching as Niall sighs and moves his body on the bed. He leans down and tongues at the slit before taking the head of Niall's cock between his lips, sucking gently before sliding his mouth downwards, taking Niall's entire length into his mouth.

"Fuck holly shit Harry what the hell?"

Harry looks up to see his boyfriend staring down at him, his blue eyes full of confusion, a stunned look on his face. Harry doesn't stop though as he hums around Niall's cock, hearing him curse as Harry runs his tongue along every vein and nerve underneath his shaft as he slowly pulls his mouth off.

"Fuck I must be dreaming" Harry hears Niall groan, the raspiness of his morning voice making his Irish accent stronger, the sound making Harry's own cock harder.

"Definitely not dreaming baby" Harry chuckles as he keeps stroking his hand along Niall's now fully hard shaft, "Happy 2016" Harry gives him a wink as he bends forward again, sucking and swirling his tongue around the head before taking him all the way back into his mouth.

Harry loves how the mushroom shaped head of Niall's cock feels so perfect between his lips. How his rock-hard shaft is slick from a combination of Niall's pre-come and Harry's mouth. How he throbs against Harry's tongue as he slides his mouth up and down teasingly. Loves the moans and constant stream of curse words coming from Niall's own beautiful mouth.

Harry knows Niall loves sucking Harry's cock but it's definitely mutual because he loves sucking Niall's cock too.

Especially now because the way Niall is gripping Harry's hair and pushing his hips upwards, fucking into Harry's mouth. Harry knows he's already on the brink.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck... Harry..." Niall moans and it just makes Harry suck harder, relaxing his throat so Niall can fuck deeper into his mouth. He slides his hand down, cupping Niall's balls in his palm, squeezing gently in time with his sucking, while pressing his other hand against the inside of Niall's thigh, stroking his fingers against his supple skin.

And then Niall's whole body freezes for a couple of seconds and he's gasping for air as he's muttering "fuck fuck". Harry feels his cock throb against his tongue as Niall comes hard, spurting into Harry's mouth and Harry loves it.

Harry doesn't let go, just keeps sucking Niall through his orgasm as he milks every drop of cum out of Niall's cock, licking the head and shaft. Listening to Niall pant as he tries to regain his breath, his chest heaving. Harry squeezes the base tenderly before letting his spent cock slip from his lips as he looks up and gives Niall a lazy grin.

"Hi".

"Harry fuck come 'ere" Niall reaches out with his hand, bringing Harry forward, pulling Harry into his arms as their mouths meet in a heated kiss. Then Niall is flipping them over so he's on top as he holds Harry's jaw with one hand, nipping Harry's bottom lip before licking into Harry's mouth.

"Fuck can't believe you're here Haz" Niall whispers as he pulls away, pressing his forehead against Harry's, pressing his palm against Harry's chest.

"Wouldn't wanna be anywhere else baby" Harry answers softly, stroking his hand along Niall's cheek and it's the truth because Harry is so in love with him and he was absolutely crazy for even thinking about being away from him the past few days.

Harry makes a silent vow to never let that happen again.

Harry is too distracted now because Niall is trailing kisses down Harry's neck, pressing open mouthed kisses against his skin. Biting and sucking before moving on and Harry can't even be mad that he's bruising his skin. He wants it, wants the evidence of Niall's mouth on his skin, hopes it will linger for days when he has to leave again so he can touch them and remember.

Then Niall is moving his hand between them, sliding his hand down Harry's stomach, caressing his skin as Harry exhales sharply. Now all Harry can feel is Niall's fingers tips, moving up and down underneath Harry's hard cock teasingly and Harry can't help but moan and arch against him because fuck he needs Niall's touch so bad.

So hard baby fuck look at you" Niall bites his lip as he stares down at Harry's hard length and Harry is choking because Niall talking dirty has always turned Harry on. He can feel Niall digging his thumb into the slit, smearing his pre-come along his shaft as he palms him slowly before wrapping his hand around him.

Harry moans because Niall's hand is like heaven. His grip not to tight but just enough to keep him on edge, he's pumping his hand slowly up and down. And fuck Harry can feel the tiny callouses at the tips of Niall's fingers drag along the bottom of his length every time he strokes up and its so unbelievably good.

Harry's panting, gripping Niall's shoulder tight, thrusting into Niall's hand trying to get him to go faster. Niall just keeps moving his hand at a snail pace, dragging his fingers along Harry's length, circling his thumb around the head before pressing against the slit every now and again and its torture for Harry. Harry needs more, wants more but Niall isn't giving it.

"Ni please baby please" Harry begs but Niall just shakes his head the fucking tease as he keeps moving his hand up and down real slow as he leans forward to lick and bite the swallows tattooed under his collarbones. Harry can't even think straight because of the pleasure rushing through his entire body just from Niall's mouth and hand.

You almost there baby guna come soon huh I can feel it" Niall whispers as he thumbs his slit and Harry's nodding and moaning as he arches against Niall's hand, mouthing at Niall's shoulder. Theres a heat building in the pit of Harry's stomach and he chases it, thrusting forward again and again until he comes with a cry, jerking against Niall's palm, shooting cum all over his hand as he bites down hard on Niall's shoulder.

Niall wipes his hand clean using a hand towel from Harry's drawer before turning Harry onto his side and snuggling up behind him, wrapping an arm around Harry's waist as he presses kisses against the nape of Harry's neck.

Harry moans softly in appreciation, his eye lids suddenly heavy.

"Harry?".

"Yeah?".

"I'm definitely not dreaming right?".

Harry chuckles, "Of course not baby".

"You came all this way for what?".

"Well we didn't see the new year in so I figured being the first person you saw for 2016 would make up for it" Harry answers as he feels Niall's arms tighten around his waist.

"Really?".

"Yes really".

"You're an idiot! How much did it cost you? You know I hate it when you spend your money on me" Niall splutters behind him as Harry turns around in his arms so they're facing each other.

"Ni" Harry interrupts, staring into his blue eyes as Niall stops mumbling.

"Yeah?".

"You wanna know why I came?".

"Yes".

"Because I love you" Harry answers simply and he watches as the beautiful lad lying in front of him begins to smile, his whole face lighting up, his bright blue eyes sparkling. He cups his warm hand around Harry's chin before leaning in and capturing Harry lips in a lingering kiss that makes Harry's pulse speed up quickly.

"I love you too you sap".

"It's mutual so can I go to sleep now? I'm kinda knackered after your amazing hand job and me sucking your cock" Harry asks as Niall groans, forcing Harry back onto his side and snuggling up behind him.

"Jesus Christ your potty mouth".

"You love this mouth wrapped around your -".

"HARRY".

Harry chuckles as he closes his eyes, reaching down to entwine his fingers with Niall's hand on his chest.

"Love you".

"I love you too."

++

"Haz come on please I'm starving babe" Niall whines as he searches through Harry's drawers for a clean pair of boxers to put on after his shower.

"But baby jetlagged" Harry groans from the bed and it makes Niall smile because Harry, his stupidly romantic boyfriend flew 12 hours on a private plane just to be the first face Niall saw for 2016 and the thought makes Niall so giddy and he loves him even more if that's possible.

And Harry may only be here for another 12 hours but Niall is going to make the most of it. Which includes making Harry get out of bed to cook them breakfast even though it seems kinda ridiculous, having breakfast at 2pm in the afternoon but still he promised.

Niall turns around, folding his arms across his chest as he croons in Harry's direction,

"Feed me Seymour".

Harry bursts into fits of laughter and its like music to Niall's ears as he watches his boyfriend prop himself up on the bed, his green eyes full of amusement and the creases in his cheeks visible as he looks at Niall.

"Fuck you baby and just so we're clear you are definitely more like Audrey then me".

"Oh yeah? How so?".

Harry lifts his hand and mimics a countdown, 3,2,1 before pointing over at Niall's stomach. Niall looks down and listens as his stomach growls and rumbles away, much to Harry's amusement.

"And there you go Audrey".

"Haha very funny you idiot" Niall shakes his head as he picks up a pillow from the floor, throwing it at Harry on the bed who yelps as the pillow smacks into his head. Niall throws back his head and laughs as he turns and heads for the bedroom door

"Fine then Miss Audrey what do you want me to cook?" Harry calls from the bed as Niall stops in the doorway, turning around to lean on the door frame.

"Well I was thinking" Niall replies slowly with a grin as he watches Harry on the bed, "how about a delicious cheese omelet with a side of bacon and mushrooms".

"No way what about.. Ohh oh reminiscing are we?".

"Absolutely not I'm just hungry and that's what I want" Niall answers like he doesn't know what Harry is referring to but its too late because Harry's smirking at Niall from the bed as he slowly leans back against the pillows.

Harry rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow and he's giving Niall that look Niall knows all too well and fuck Niall's getting hard because he can't resist his tease of a boyfriend except he's determined not to give in this time.

"Harry stop".

"What?"

"You know what".

"Well if you know what I'm going to say then why are you still standing over there" Harry says with a smirk as he pushes the sheet that was covering his chest further down so its pooled at his waist.

Now Niall can see every inch of his chest, his skin is the most beautiful shade of golden brown from his days in the sun and it's making Niall want to lick and bite his tattoos so badly. And fuck has Harry been working out more because Niall can definitely see his abs as Harry flexes and moves on the bed.

"Because I'm staying over here until you get your ass off that bed and into the kitchen to cook me some food" Niall demands as Harry grumbles before throwing his head back onto his pillow in defeat.

"Fine but can you bring me a pair of clean boxers please babe" Harry asks and Niall obliges because he's winning, he's actually winning this battle of wills and Niall feels good as he grabs a pair, taking them over to the bed for Harry.

"Here you -" Niall begins but his sentence is cut short as Harry grabs his hand, yanking him forward making Niall fall straight into Harry's arms. Harry rolls over quickly, pinning Niall beneath his body as he laughs, smirking down Niall.

"Harry".

"Baby you are so gorgeous but so bloody gullible".

"I am -" Niall sentence is cut off again as Harry presses his mouth against Niall's lips, kissing him quickly as he slips his hands inside Niall's boxers, grabbing his ass as he grinds against him.

"I just showered Harry come on" Niall protests but his will power is wavering fast as Harry licks up his neck, sucking on his sweet spot.

"Mmmm I know you did and it makes me want to get you all dirty again" Harry says, his voice slightly lower and Niall can feel his cheeks flushing from Harry's words. He's so fucking hard now and Harry's palming him through his briefs while sucking on his sweet spot and it's game over for Niall.

He's still going to force Harry to make him some breakfast later but a little distraction fuck never hurt anyone right? And afterwards he's going to change Harry's bed sheets because black isn't a colour he associates with their relationship any more.

He still loves Amy Winehouse's music though.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me and say hello [here](http://www.fairynarrytale.tumblr.com) :)


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